"In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my rock, my strength, my song."

Sorry we have been absent for so long. We have had serious computer problems and could not get a blog post up for several days. This is Mallory speaking. :)

Classes have been going well, for the most part. My nursing students really seem to love me, which still shocks me. Mom was joking a couple of weeks ago, when I told her about the ladies who clean our rooms and take out our trash, and how we eat out for every meal; she said, "You won't be fit for shit when you get back." Sorry to the grandmothers reading this, but the rhyme is too good to re-word. Not to mention the fact that every day I have someone telling me that I am beautiful. When I enter a room, students glow with delight to see me. Some of them even jump up and down when they see me coming. We've had people paying for our meals and our taxis, even though we make a lot more money than they do. In a strange way, it is like we are celebrities here.

I can see how Mom or anyone else might think all this special attention would make me useless. But the truth is, it hurts. A lot.

When I come back from a class or meeting with my students, I feel heavy inside. Rather than giving me a big head, my position is proving to be the biggest burden I have ever carried. All I can think is, Who am I? Who am I that you should adore me so? I am not special; I'm not even really a teacher. I'm only two years older than my students. This is truly the most humbling experience of my life.

I'm doing my best here. Every time I leave a classroom, I'm exhausted because I've given everything I have to these students. But it doesn't seem like enough. Not nearly. The way they look at me, they deserve so much more than me. But I'm the one who is here. I just hope that I will not fail them.

Location:Kaifeng, China